#selfloveselfiesunday 3 Lessons of Archery to Help You Succeed in Life.

Happy Sunday!

Yesterday, I went to the archery range for the first time. And, let me tell you, I wasn’t bad. I wasn’t good. But, I wasn’t bad.

My hands were shaking a little and even when I had laser focus on the target, my arrow never came closer than three feet away. Each shot, I had to adjust and change. I had to learn my bow and the untuned arrows. I was no Katniss Everdeen.

As time went on, I realized the importance of my posture, breath, and focused mind. With my shoulders band and my head high, I shot the with more power. As I held my breath when I released the bow, my accuracy was better. With a mind only focused on the target, I was able to stay consistent and closer to my intended shot.

Enough archery talk, I hope you’re following me as I am about to parallel that to life…

1. Have Good Posture: With my head held high and my shoulders back, I greet the world. I walk into the world instead of the world walking into me. I have the confidence and understanding of my power. As I show up in the world as my truest, freest self, the world shows up for me. How? In relationships, opportunities, miracles, freedom, joy, laughter, and depth. I could give example after example the differences in my life when I recognize my power, but I’ll save that for a different day (stay tuned!).
2. Get in tune with your breath: I have become in tune with my body and my breath. While in archery, I held my breath to have a steady shot, in life I realize the importance of my breath. On days and moments of high anxiety, I feel my breath shorten and stay in my chest. I feel the tension as it manifests in tight muscles, headaches, faster heart rate, and high anxiety. These symptoms are clues to breathe deeper and step back. Being in tune with my breath has allowed me access to my strength and stress reduction. Our bodies are constantly communicating with us. They are telling us what we need to know, so we need to get quiet and listen.
3. Have laser focus: Sometimes we have a bullseye to focus on. Other times we have a general area we are aiming for. Either way, our best bet is to keep our eye on the target, tune out the distractions around us, and focus solely on what we are shooting for. There will ALWAYS be distractions. I know the word “always” can be controversial and I am using it with confidence here. Laundry never goes away, dishes never disappear, other people won’t stop calling to talk or need your help, work will need/want/ask for more, bills will continue to come, the sun will rise and set, and time does not stop. There will come a time where that bullseye is important enough to make time for. You will feel this longing, craving, hoping, and burning for that target, whatever it is. The good and bad news, is it’s up to YOU. No one else can do it for you and it will never go away.

I am writing this from experience. I know. I know what it’s like to want something or to long for something more. I know what it’s like to have a bullseye, put up my metaphoric bow several times, only to take it down because someone else needed me. Or, because that voice inside my head told me I couldn’t. Or, because time, money, and energy ran out. Or, because I would wait for the “right” time. Spoiler alert: there will NEVER be a right time.

And, now, I have learned that my desire and burning and calling for that bullseye never goes away. I realized that my personal bullseye gets brighter and more enticing because it’s what I truly want. And with this realization, I am learning how to get laser focused and tune out the distractions. It isn’t easy, not one bit. And, it’s worth every second of it. Everyday, I’m getting closer to my bullseye and everyday I’m learning more about myself.

I love my ability to focus and commit. I love my passion and desire to help others find their joy, love, and passion. And, I love the fact that I tried archery.

If you are sitting here, reading this and know what your bullseye is but are too afraid, scared, nervous, or don’t know how to get it, reach out. That’s what I do and that’s why I’m here. I have done it myself and I’ve, most likely, been in your shoes. Sometimes we need someone to be in our corner and help us see the power in ourselves.

What do you love about you?

Dear Me

Dear Jillie,

You are wonderful and beautiful and exquisite. You are full of adventure and wonder and faith and hope. You make this world a better place and I am in awe of you.

I love looking into the fierceness of your eyes, seeing the strength but gentleness and compassion that resides within you. You are free.

We all have doubts, fears, uncertainty. But, what I love about you is even though you have those, you let your passion and mission overcome them. You live with authenticity. You live love. You are love.

I want you to know you can do anything you put your mind too. You have chosen an unconventional life that is filled with adventure and miracles. It is scary. It may not be what society has pegged as normal, but it fills your heart and soul with fulfillment and nourishment. Keep going no matter what. Let your heart and soul sing your truth. Speak your truth.

You are working on nourishing yourself and practicing self-care. These are boundaries that need to be set with others and need to be set with yourself. Always know, you are deserving of love. You are deserving of peace and compassion. You are deserving of what lights your soul on fire. Know that within your heart.

Life may not be easy. But it is within these moments where your wings will become strong enough to fly. And you are flying. You have overcome obstacles and challenges many people would choose to surrender to. Know your strength and power. You are powerful. Hold onto that, it is yours and yours alone.

You live a life of love and have an abundance amount of love in your life. You share it with others, and please share it with yourself. What you give to the world, comes back to you. Love is your true essence and it radiates out of you. Be the light in the world. For your light is bright and beautiful and allows others to see their own light too.

You have many gifts. Use them to your fullest ability. Act. Be in the court. And, as always, you will learn and celebrate the successes in each situation.

I think you are so beautiful, inside and out. I am thankful you have taken this time for yourself to write this to you. We have needed it. I am here for you as you fall, as you brush yourself off, and as you start over again. No matter how low, or how high, you may get in life, we are in this together. You are whole and complete, you do not need saving or fixing. For you are perfectly imperfect and I am proud of the person you have become.

I love you. I see you.

Me

A Love Letter…

When I started this project, my goal was (and is) to publish a book full of self-love letters. As I do workshops and meet people from around the world, I collect copies of self-love letters for this book. My goal is to use the proceeds to support women empowerment organizations, send girls to school, and take this message worldwide. However, until now, I have not had a date in mind for my timeline goal. I have just let it be and seen where it has taken me. Well, I have traveled to the southern hemisphere where I am writing this post, have held more than 25 workshops, and have had the honor to meet people from all walks of life. It has taken me through extraordinary places, to meet extraordinary people, and on an extraordinary adventure. None that compare to the journey I have gone one within myself.

So, I am writing to announce, my goal is to publish the book by July 2016. I am asking people from all over the world to join me with this goal because I cannot do it alone, nor do I want to. To offer some inspiration, here is a love letter from one of the most inspiring and beautiful young women I have met in my travels.

“Hallo my little cute adventurous bunch of stardust! I am amazed by how you bring your energy in the world every day, trying your best, getting inspiration, spreading it and giving love! There is so much beauty within you! Even when there is a bad time coming for you you are going for the hard way, not letting anyone bring you down or destroy your dream of freedom! I love the way you take every challenge and win it because you are so crazy incredibly stubborn that you have to finish everything you start and care about! And I really am stunned by the way you sometimes talk to people and bring them to open a different kind of view for you or when you find beautiful words to make them see the world with different ways. Other than that I don’t believe there is anyone in this world who has as much hopes and dreams and such a pure heart as you, believing in changing the world and in being good and patient and loving and caring and being an example as the first step to reach that goal! There is just so much light, beauty and love within you! You are one deep, caring, perfect, creative, fighting, inspiring, positive, sporty, beautiful, honest, brave soul! Keep your heart strong! And keep that awesome smile!

With love.”

Want your love letter posted? Email me at loveletterstoyourself@gmail.com and let your letter be the reason someone starts on their own journey of self-love today:)

To the Brave Girl Inside of me…

To the brave girl inside of me…

I am writing this to you. To the girl who has overcome all odds, held her head high when she felt like crumbling, and accomplished things others dream of…you, my dear, are amazing.

If I could tell you anything, it is this: Never underestimate yourself. You will be alright. Life is hard. You have to grow up. You have to encounter things that you will be afraid of, you will doubt yourself for, you don’t think you will make it through, but you will. And, that is growth and strength. And you still have a lot of growing left to do.

I have been in your shoes. I know how this turns out. You make it with flying colors. It doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but you do. It is hard work, you want to turn back, but don’t. Because in the end, you made not only your dreams come true, but a lot of other’s dreams, as well.

You are amazing and I love you. I am here every step of the way to guide you. I already know what happens. And it is greater than you know. Keep dreaming. Keep visualizing. Because you keep manifesting.

So, just breathe. Relax. Enjoy your life for all that it is worth. Feel each moment and appreciate it for what it is and know, that the bad ones will pass as well as the good ones. They are all equal. Life comes in waves will different tides, currents, with rough seas, and with calm as smooth as glass. But, it is always the ocean and it will always be there. No two days are the same, no two moments are the same. So, cherish each one and accept it for what it is worth.

Please, my child, all is well and good in your world. You are loved and protected by me. You always have been and always will be. I love you for all that you are. Thank you for being and keep growing strong.

Love,

Me

Hugging the World

Here is one of my favorite pictures from the Inca Trail trek. We finished the hardest part of the trek and we had the most amazing view as we were coming down.
We had a beautiful day and we could see Machu Picchu mountain from this point. We could see our destination.
As I stood there and looked out at the scenery around me, I was in awe and amazement at the beauty that is in the world. The beauty that has been created naturally without any man made machinery. As this thought occurred to me, I was reminded that everything I see is a reflection of what I have inside of myself. The mountains, the valleys, the glaciers, the clouds, the trees, the animals, and all of the beauty is showing me what is inside of me. I have the same natural beauty within me. And you have it within you too.
We often look around us at the wonderment and beauty of those people around us and also the nature around us. Often we forget, we are made of the same things and have the same potential within us.
The day before this picture was taken, we hiked up a pass called, “Dead woman’s Pass.” It was the hardest day and when we got to the top we were supposed to be able to see for miles and miles. However, when we got up there, clouds came in and we could barely see five feet in front of us. As I was walking and starting to feel bummed out about how I couldn’t see. I asked for guidance. And what I received was this, “This is an opportunity to see the beauty within you. During this hike, you have been looking outside of yourself and admiring everything outside of you. Now, during a time where you are supposed to see the greatest beauty outside of you, you are given an opportunity to see the greatest beauty within you.” This was one of the greatest gifts of the hike.
So, I am here to share this message with you. Take time to look at the beauty within you. If your eye sight is too impaired by your own interior clouds to see it, then look at the amazing beauty around you and know you are made of the same stuff!!!
So, get out there and give the world a hug! And as you do that, give yourself one too. Because just as the world is full of miracles, so are you.
Mucho amor,
Jillie

The Treasure Beyond the Mountain

Have you ever looked at the horizon and wondered what is just beyond sight? Or driven by mountains and wondered what is beyond the peak? Or what would have happened if you would have tried to go after a dream?

This past weekend, I went to Huaraz, Peru for a second time in two years. This place is magical with a valley surrounded by lush greenery, and just beyond it, snow capped mountains that touch the sky. The scenery is picturesque and I wonder if it is just a backdrop like the ones from The Wizard of Oz.

We challenged ourselves with a hike to Laguna 69 in the Huascaran National Park which is over 14,000 feet. The bus dropped us off three hours north of where we were staying in a valley surrounded by snow covered mountains, rivers overflowing from the rain, too many waterfalls to count, and pre-incan structures as we walked. We walked, and walked, and walked.

Up the mountains we went. Through the rivers we forged. And each moment was a test of physical fitness, but even more so of emotional capacity. My eyes were locked to the ground as I focused on my feet so I wouldn’t trip over rocks or roll my ankles. And when I thought of it, I looked up and enjoyed the amazing scenery around me. However, as the hours went on, I began to doubt myself. I wanted to turn around and to quit. I couldn’t breathe, sweat dripped down my face and as the cold wind blew I began to shiver. Being over 14,000 feet, the oxygen was minimal and I became lightheaded every few steps. Each minute was a rollercoaster of confidence and self-doubt. As we made it up over the ridge after two hours of very strenuous hiking, I had expected to see the aqua blue lake waiting on the other side. However, instead, I saw a tiny black lake and another pasture to walk through. And just beyond that, I saw small dots of color climbing up a second ridge. They looked like small ants that seemed miles and miles away. In that moment, my head dropped and all I could do was sit down.

As I sat there, I looked around me. I looked how far I had come, but how far I still had to go. In that moment, I saw progress I made in my life, and yet, how far I must go. I saw all the obstacles I overcame and all the challenges I had risen above. However, I saw all the adversity ahead of me and all of the lessons I will learn about myself and who I am. I had a choice. I could take the comfortable option and stay put and wait for the others to return in a few hours. I knew I would be perfectly content sitting on that rock. Or, I could stand up, throw my backpack on and keep pushing, which is something I am more familiar with. I am not one to sit. I am not one to surrender. And by God, I am not one to give up. So, I decided to take the mountain head on for that moment and for every moment in the future.

After another hour of even more challenges and even harder hiking, the trail opened up to the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. I reached the second ridge and once again, no lake. But, it was flat land. I heard voices just ahead. There was hope! I was almost there. I began to run. I clasped my backpack around my waist and stumbled over rocks as my legs were shaking from the trek. And that was when I rounded the curve, the curve that lead to the treasure.

What I love about trekking is you never know what is just round the corner. And, as I rounded the corner a bright, aqua blue lake filled my sight. The aqua lake was surrounded by white rock and snow. There was a glacier high to the right and the sun was popping out to show the real beauty of this natural phenomenon. There was a tall thin waterfall that fell from the glacier as it poured into this water calling my name. I found the treasure.

So, now I am back in Huanchaco and another mountain has been put in front of me. I am sitting back on that rock staring at the second ridge and searching for the strength to keep going. However, if I do not climb that ridge, I will never see the treasure that will change my life. So, I have a choice. And I am choosing to put my fear and nervousness aside to climb that ridge and seek the treasure that has the potential to be mine.

Too many times we go through life observing the beauty of the mountains, but we never take the chance to climb them. We second guess ourselves and the power we have within us. Yes, the mountain is hard. Yes, you will want to turn around. And yes, you will think you were crazy to think you could do it. But, you will make it over that ridge and you will see the treasure just beyond it, or maybe you will see a second ridge to climb. But, believe in you and the potential you have to find that treasure. One thing I know for sure, is the treasure will never come to you. You must always search for the treasure, to take the risk, and you must be the one to go for it. For it wouldn’t be treasure without the adversity, right?

Love, Peace, and Amity,

Jillie

Living in Huanchaco

It has been a week since I have arrived in Huanchaco, and I have already fallen in love with this area and the people. I abandoned the fast-pace craziness in the States and have began to relax into this lifestyle where I have time to reflect on my life, myself, and all those around me.

In the States, I have a problem with filling up all my time and staying as busy as possible. As a result, I am always sick, I have no time for myself, my relationship with myself suffers, and I lose sight of what is important in my life. I talk about getting out my comfort zone in order to to take on challenges and look fear in the face. Slowing down is out of my comfort zone. When I slow down, I have to look at myself and my life. So besides being in a new place, with a new language, with no one I know, I also am getting a good look at the person I am and the life I lead. It’s uncomfortable.

I have had a ping pong battle going on in my head. I thought I had no expectations when I arrived here. But in reality, I had the idea that as soon as I got here to Peru I would hit the ground running. That is not how it is going to go at all. It is a painfully slow process. My Spanish is at an elementary level. I have to  put myself out there each day, even though I have no idea what is going on around me. I have come here to Huanchaco, Peru to volunteer as the women’s empowerment coordinator in several shantytowns. I don’t know the women or what they want. I have had to let go of my ego and ask for help from some of the other volunteers. I am being humbled each and every day as I am shown how much I have to learn. I need time to write, to think, to meditate. As I begin to doubt myself and what I am doing here, I remind myself what got me to this point and show myself some love to keep going. I have to re-fall in love with myself. I am away from my boyfriend, my family, and my friends. And while I am living with the most wonderful people who are taking care of me, the only one I can truly depend on is myself.

While being here is a challenge, it is so beautiful and exactly what I wanted. Sometimes you have to throw yourself into an unfamiliar circumstance to learn the most important lessons. It is similar to my Spanish experience. I took Spanish through high school and into college, but here I feel like I have never taken it in my life. I needed to completely immerse myself in the language. I need to completely immerse myself with myself.

I am having an amazing time, but each moment is different and I am on an emotional roller coaster between self-love and self-doubt. This is life, or in Spanish, “Asi es la vida.” I am committed to taking time for myself, for showing myself love and patience, and to meditate and take care of my body. And by taking care of myself, I will be able to take care of others.

Every night I have been  picking up trash on the beach as the sun sets. There is this beauty that is indescribable. The sky is on fire with red, orange, yellow and it reflects on the ocean and beach. However, the beautiful brightness of the sky also lights up the plastic cups, bottles, napkins, dirty diapers, scattered across the beach and the ocean as it gets washed ashore. I am devoting part of my nights to picking up trash to help the environment, but also as a symbol of cleaning the litter in the beautiful depths of my soul.  And in order to cleanse myself, I have to put in the time to do the self-reflection. By slowing down my pace of life, this allowed me to see the littering happening within myself and the world around me.

I devote the next three months to being aware of the global crisis of pollution of the Earth and the self-crisis of pollution of self-doubt and negative self-talk; this negative talk of questioning my abilities, my drive, my purpose. I am going to be aware, I can take action to make it better. Each day, “poco a poco,” little by little, I am becoming more patient and more kind. I do this for others, so why not do it for myself?

“Always know the difference between what you are getting and what you deserve.”

Salud y amor,

Jillie

Bring on 2014!

Yesterday was the last day of 2013, the last page of this book. The cover closed, you are free to read any book, to go anywhere, to do anything you want. The options and possibilities are endless. I often get caught up in great stories where I am captivated. I get lost in the characters and this alternate reality. The ending comes and I am saddened with this end, but I then am liberated from this captivity and set free to live my life again.

I leave in 2 weeks for Peru and my emotions are everywhere. I am so excited, nervous, scared, and ready to go. In the mean time, I am moving out of the place I am living. I love where I live and it has offered me stability, peace, and safety over the past six months, something that had been missing in my life. The woman I live with has become a close friend, mentor, and confidant. She is a wise woman with so much love and nourishment to give to the world. This morning I told her I was sad I was leaving. She replied,

Don’t be sad. Be happy that we had these moments. It is just a little death. A little death that is necessary for the next step. We all have little deaths in our lives and this is just another one.

How profound and appropriate for the day. In these deaths, opportunity and possibility are created. With the death of this last year, a birth is now happening. This birth can provide you with anything you dream. However, it is your book to write and your dream to make happen.

The last page of this book was yesterday. The captivation of 2013 has let you go and you are liberated to take on your life and your 2014 goals. The space is empty, ready to be filled with whatever you choose. So, make sure you choose wisely. Choose those things in your life that serve you for the better. Choose those things that are pushing you in the direction of your ambitions. Choose the relationships that support you, that make you feel good and healthy, that make you genuinely happy. Because this space is your life, not anyone else’s.

I want to share some of my 2014 goals with you, I hope they inspire you to take on your deepest dreams, as well.

1. Go to Peru, become fluent in Spanish, and help the women set up a sustainable program to achieve their vision for their community
2. Write 5 Chapters of my book
3. Establish my own business and be self-sustaining
4. Speak at 3 different schools in the area about self-love and setting goals
5. Move in with Jason and continue to grow our relationship together
6. Eat 80% vegan, and do 2 vegan cleanses throughout the year
7. Have a weekend workshop for women
8. Attend advanced Landmark and self-expression and leadership course
9. Pay 20% of my student loans off
10. Strengthen my immune system and stay healthy for all of 2014!

These goals excite me, they scare me, they challenge me, and they make me believe in myself and my potential. With a new start, I have everything I need inside of me. I am capable of all of this and can make this all happen. This year I embrace my worth and value, I create a good, healthy relationship with money, I love myself, and I  help others in every way I can. I am doing this because I deserve it. And so do you.

Thank you for all the support and follows over the past year. I write because I am inspired and I love to write. My posts are more sporadic because I let this come from the heart. Thank you for taking it into yours. To our health, our happiness, and our future endeavors we take on. May we always love ourselves and love each other. Happy New Year!!

I am Light

The past month has been a challenging month for me. I have been struggling with my own journey of self-love and forgiveness. And just like the rest of life, there are ups and downs and twists and turns. There is a song that I have been listening to that has helped me on my rough days and I have begun to write a new love letter to myself, which I will post when I am done. How is yours coming?

I wanted to share the song and the lyrics with you, maybe it can offer you the same comfort it has offered me.

I am Light by India Arie

I am Light (x7)

I am not the things my family did
I am not the voices in my head
I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside

I am Light (x7)

I am not the mistakes I have made
or any of the things that caused me pain
I am not the pieces of the dream I left behind

I am Light

I am not the color of my eyes
I am not the skin on the outside
I am not the my age
I am not the my race
my soul inside

is all light

all light(x3)

I am Light (x7)

I am divinity defined
I am the god on the inside

I am a star
a piece of it all

I am Light

I am Light by India Arie

 

May you always know that you are light. You are nothing but light. Never believe anything else someone may say to you or you may even say to you. You are not the mistakes you have made, you are not your actions, you are not your family, your friends, you are not this body. You are light which is perfect and whole. That is all you are. So, let your light shine brightly.

Gratitude

As the holiday season approaches, I have been reminded of practicing gratitude in my every day life. The universe never fails to remind me of the important themes to practice in order to live my life wholeheartedly.

The past week has been a very hard one. I returned from vacation and it was very hard for me to get back into the swing of things. I slumped into a small depressed state at having to be home and this resulted in not being present at work or in my life. By not being present, I made some careless mistakes at work and had to accept the consequences. However, this gave me an amazing opportunity to practice self-love and self-forgiveness. These two things I felt I was very strong at,  but I was shown these are some of my greatest opportunities.

Many times I think I have mastered something and become arrogant in my ways of thinking. I forget to constantly be a student of life, eager to learn and absorb all the lessons that are given to me. I was shown this week that I must always practice what I preach. I was shown my desire for perfection and the impact it has on my life. I cannot be wrong, I cannot make a mistake, and I cannot disappoint others, but really I cannot disappoint myself. I have placed myself on an invincible pedestal where I am not allowed to fall. And when I do, it is almost impossible for me to climb back up the ladder.

So, here I am to tell myself this message and share it with you; I know I am not alone in this.  We are spiritual beings, put here on earth to have a human experience. We are made exactly as we should be, perfect and whole. And although we were made perfect, we do not act perfect. Mistakes are lessons we are given, they are gifts to help guide us on this journey of life. There is no such things as a mistake, it is an opportunity to grow and prosper. So, give yourself a break! Breathe and say, “I forgive you.” You deserve forgiveness just like everyone else. But, it is the hardest forgiveness to give.

Without making mistakes, we cannot grow and reach our greatest potential. We have to disappoint others and move on from it to learn we have to approve of  ourselves. Without this approval of ourselves, no one else’s approval will ever satisfy us fully. If your own love is not enough for you, no one else’s will be either.

Gratitude is the theme of this post and of this week. I am so grateful for the mistakes I have made. I am so grateful for the tears I have cried, the conversations I have had, and the vulnerability I have practiced. I was shown a beautiful part of my journey and beautiful parts of myself that deserve love and attention. I am so grateful for life lessons. It is the hardest lessons that shed the most light. So, here I am declaring that I am human. I am a recovering perfectionist and I am at Day 1. I promise to love myself, show patience and understanding, and never allow myself to climb back up that ladder to the perfectionist pedestal.

Each year at Thanksgiving, I ask those who I share my meal with, what they are grateful for. We go around the table and share them with everyone. So, What are you grateful for? What do you promise yourself? And how are you spreading love and gratitude to those you love?

Happy Thanksgiving my great teachers,

Jillie

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